Ministering ministry

It was the Monday before spring break, and I was pretty certain that I would be spending my break at Furman. I was drained of energy, felt so far behind in school and life in general, and just felt I needed a breather break to prevent a massive breakdown. I had found my excuse in EVM obligations. Well, these EVM obligations proved to be nonexistent. This may be “unchristianlike”, but I told God that if he wanted me to go to Pittsburgh, that I would find out without asking that the EVM stuff was truly canceled. Well, as soon as I walked into Rodney’s office that afternoon for something, he told me it was canceled. So in this moment when I should have been excited that I would now get to go on this great mission trip, I was whining inside. I wasn’t sure how I was gonna make it, but I felt that God was putting it in my face to go. So, I packed Wednesday after lunch, drove to the chapel, went to class, then left to Pittsburgh with 8 incredible people. I was pooped. But I wanted to believe that God had everything under control.
Off we trucked to the nowhere of nowheres, a small ministry distribution house in the 15th poorest county in the nation, somewhere in West Virginia. Our group immediately began to bond as we tried to pass the time in the van. There were many laughs and great memories made. The people we worked with and served in West Virginia were amazingly genuine and joyful servants of Christ; it was a priceless experience. They were examples of giving God everything, trusting Him with everything, and relying on Him for everything; and because of their willingness, so many lives are touched weekly. The couple reflected Jesus through and through. They exemplified the wholehearted servant I hope to but wonder if I’ll ever be. I believe I had been suffering from not serving others enough, because as I was able to serve, I was reenergized and began to feel more at peace inside.
Pittsburgh was wow! With all the big city and old city stuff, I felt like I was in a foreign country. God opened my eyes to the desparateness of so many people as we asked college students the question, “If you could ask God one question what would it be?” Answers ranged from “What is your favorite color?” to “I’m agnostic, so I can’t answer that.” The most asked question was simply, “Why?”
Our original plan for Saturday fell through, so we did God’s plan of prayer walking many different campuses in the area. I admit, I was kinda unsure how it would go, because prayer walking for a day honestly was overwhelming to me. Recently, my prayer life hasn’t been nearly like I want it to be, and so a whole day of it? Well, I wasn’t excited. I wasn’t sure what to do. We got to the first campus, got out of the van, Rodney read the campuses specific prayer requests and told us when to meet back. And I was on my own. Ok, so I looked around to see what the others were doing, and they started walking. I stood there for a minute, and then set off in a different direction. Rodney told us to let God tell us what to pray for. I wasn’t sure how that was gonna work, but thought it couldn’t hurt to try. It turned out to be the day I had been thirsting for. I’m sure I wouldn’t have found it back at Furman. As I began to talk and walk with God, He really did help me pray. For example, a bee landed on a flower, and I felt God saying that like the bee gets its source from the flower, I needed to pray that the people on the campus would know that God was the true source for their life, and that they would constantly draw from Him. At the last campus, I cut my toe before prayer walking with my partner Jon. Well, my toe didn’t want to walk, so we sat down in a little garden. We just sat in silence for about 20 minutes praying. With the disguise of me ministering to others by praying for them, God miraculously ministered to me. He reminded my stupid self of his power, love, grace, and faithfulness that I tend to forget or limit. He put my mind at ease about craziness that had been rushing around. And most of all, He reminded me that He is completely in control and that He is right beside me, sometimes even carrying me. No, I’m not back to the totally carefree, no worries girl that I used to be, but I know that God has my hand and He is helping me through this tougher time of my life. I have to rely on Him and trust Him even when I can’t make sense of what is going on in my life. Thankfully, our God is patient, forgiving, and unconditionally loving.