here and not there

hay again,
first of all i just want to apologize for being a looser missionary and staying on campus while the older kids and Grace are at Carowinds. I'd appreciate your prayers though that i will not be sick for long and will have the strength to give everything i can this last week. For those of you who have been praying for Bridget, good news, she broke up with Chris even though he threatened to take his life if she did. It's been tough, but God has really helped her see more clearly and she has surprised me how much she desires to listen to what we say. man, i wish my parents would adopt her. She is spending much more time with God now, and she is excited, so thanks for your prayers but please don't stop them. Funny/sad story- i got attacked by a 6 year old and a 6th grader in the pool yesterday with hugs, kisses, and "my mama, my fake mama". I always try to tell them gently that im not there mama and then Dakota (6th) says "i dont have a mama", then, "she is in jail". i said, "she is still your mama". then he said, "yeah, and i love her, and i'll always love her". what do you say- nothing. Then cooper nixon last night was a miracle. I felt sick, but for the first time all the kids were listening, answering my questions, and being actually involved in the devotion. then one boy had a fruit of the spirit song he wanted to play (we talked about galatians 5:22and 23. so we listened to it and a lot of them started dancing. it was precious and they all got along beautifully except when Javion tried to beat up Breanna once. then we practiced the skit they are doing sunday and then just chilled. they brought in different music to listen to including disney (yeah, i was excited about that one). most of that time i was sitting down with jason, samantha, and breanna playing with my hair and Javion cuddled in my lap. i dont think there is much hope of dodgeing all his kisses, so hopefully its not a bad thing. it was so special though. i wanted to just stay there for ever, well, ok, maybe not that long because i'd miss my other friends and family. anyway, so yeah. Its hard to think about having only one more thursday, friday, saturday, sunday, and monday nite here. I realized this just lately too, sometimes i find myself really looking foward to being home and then going to Chris and EA's wedding, and other times i try to wonder how i feel about that good stuff ahead but leaving here too, and well, i just can't think about it really, and God has helped me see through the devotions Grace and I have at nite that i just gotta live up this time right now with everything i have. if i think too much now, i get confused, but if i just look foward to stuff all the time, then i never get the fullness of the present. so yeah, im a little slow sometimes, but anyway, God is patient. love you all and hope you have a wonderful week. oh, exciting, Julie's girlfriend has left and the next day she asked if she could have a copy of my cd, so i know she has been debating life with Christ or life with this girl, so please pray that she won't ignore God and will have the strength to reach out to Him. see ya,
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yay! Exciting news!

ok, i know i just wrote, but exciting news! I talked Junior into doing a "practice swim test" yesterday which i said meant that i'd be right in front of him and he'd swim as far as he could and when he couldn't go any more id catch him. after "thinking about it" for a little bit, he finally did it. he said he'd swim a few feet, as far as he wanted, but i just kept jumping back and he made it almost half the width of the pool! It was so exciting! He wasn't so happy about the water in his nose, but he is getting good at swimming. He just wanted me to hold him after that. so maybe today he'll want to try some more. He is so cute. Ok, one girl here has a name 5 names long, and the first is Harley and the last is Motorcycle. (we were saying our full names for a song "He knows my name". Bridget talked to me a lot yesterday. A lady (i think her case worker) came to my house looking for her today, (she was confused), but i dont know what is going on. Bridget at one point said she feared DSS was gonna send her back home (she never wants to go there again), so i hope this wasn't bringing that confirmed news. the little girls came to our cottage last nite and i had the three really sweet ones and taught them an interp, and poor Grace was teaching a skit to the crazy ones, Renee (Jr.'s sister, was being really bad) it sounded like the house was falling down. then we all decorated cookies. Tonight we are teaching the middle age boys a skit and then some girls an interp and a skit. This is what the kids wanted to do. Hopefully it'll all turn out well. We're taking pudding brownies and cookies to practice, usually those help make for a good evening with these kids (and Grace and me too). :) i had fun and most of the kids did. after they left, i went to run and Grace crashed for a little 8:00 nap. in case you ever wonder, i tried the brownie mix with adding chocolate pudding because a lady here does that, and well, dont try it. they dont taste as good. love you all,
lauren<><

wow

hay, much has happened since my last email. i just was talking with Bridget on the phone during lunch, she mainly wanted me to listen, which was good, since im not a well of advice, but please keep praying for her. She is really wanting to live how God wants her and she has so much baggage and things to deal with the think through, and she is so young. I could use prayer too, because well, she is so much more to me than a connie maxwell student, and i honestly don't know how im just going to leave, and i dont want my attachment to make things harder for her, i want to continue this relationship positively for her these last couple weeks. This week is arts camp for the little kids. Grace and i are leading the singing. Junior got kicked out of every rotation yesterday. Some of the kids are just having a really hard time, and its really challenging and can be very frustrating. Please pray for the kids, that they will be able to behave. i feel sorry for some of them, because they just lack self-control. also pray for me and Grace, its getting tough for us to balance all the projects of these last two weeks as well as dealing with having to leave the kids, but also really missing home too, and knowing that we will have to leave each other, and wanting to be all we can for the kids. its just tough right now for us, so please pray for patience, clear thinking, trust, and energy. thank you so much. we are working on the end of the summer worship service the kids will do. We are meeting with different groups to teach skits, interps, and help with songs, and we pray it goes well and will be beneficial, encouraging the kids with their gifts and not so much frustrating. Please pray for the situation with two girls, and also that Grace and I will respond and relate as God directs us to. I definitely got another kiss from a five year old last nite. One of the cooper nixon girls (6 yers old) told me at lunch that her mama got cut with glass all down her arm because her dad did it will a mirror when he was drunk.
ok, cool story. Grace and i go grocery shopping on fridays, and we had gotten a loaf of bread, but when we unpacked at home, there was no bread. so in church someone did a monologue of the feeding of the 5,000, and loaf/french bread was part of the flower (but not really flower) arrangement. after church, Mrs. Sally asked if anyone wanted a loaf of bread. So now we have bread. God still provides the bread! a couple girls became Christians at GA camp 2 weeks ago! Saturday was our day off and it was really good. Grace and I are continuing to learn so much with each other about ourselves and life stuff. Mama asked me if i was sad or glad we are leaving in a little over 2 weeks, i said both. Grace and i went and played tennis last nite, it was a first for her i think. it was really fun. she only hit one homerun! and oh yeah, i got to see a falling star too. that was cool! It's been really awesome to see the difference Christ has made in Austin's life since centrifuge. Please pray that He can continue to grow in that relationship. thank you so much for listening and praying. and im sorry if i seem vague and shallow a lot of times. i just dont know if i can really explain life here. Grace and i appreciate having each others mutual understanding. you dont have to understand, just thanks for listening, praying, and supporting. love you all and i hope you have a blessed week. <><

someone help me out with titles

ok, hay yall! so i have 3 weeks and 2 days left here. i had a nitemare last week that i woke up at home and realized that i wasn't coming back here. so if you cant tell, im still loving it here and haven't figured out how im gonna leave, i guess i should just not think about it and really live up each moment. in about an hour, Grace and I will go to the cooper nixon crises home to eat supper and have a devotion with the 7 young girls and boys there. this is one of our highlights, although nearly everything is a highlight except cleaning out our refrigerator. anyway, we are going to share the story in Matthew of Jesus and Peter walking on water, we've written Isaiah 40:29 on paper boats for their memory verse (these kids have amazing memories) and then we are gonna braid bracelets with them to show how with our one strand and Christ's two strands, we are strengthened beyond what we can imagine. Please pray for these kids and the staff, because there is a one year limit to stay in this home, and so most of them are fixin to have to move, and we dont know where they all will go. some may come here on campus, others to a foster home, and maybe some will be adopted. Most of the connie max staff are gone to a retreat today and tomorrow, so they tried to get most of the kids to go on home visits or to other foster homes, so the campus is nearly empty. its kinda weird, but its good to have a breather before we dive into the last part of our stay. There is especially a lot of letter writing to do. Even though the kids appreciate that we are here, the extra things they know we aren't "scheduled" to do really help them see that we really love them and so please pray that i will be able to continue to discipline myself and focus on each child's letter so that I will be God's instrument and not a hindrance. thanks. also please pray for the staff retreat, that the staff will bond, because many dont click too well. and also for the kids, Bridget called from her home, and just wants to come back here and never go back. Its helped her to appreciate connie max, but its a nitemare where some of these kids are staying right now. And they just want love and a steady family. Thats what bridget said, she doesn't care about material things (except her guitar), she just wants a steady family that loves her. sorry if i've already shared this story. little Junior (the one who calls me his fake mama) said God is stupid because he asks everynite that God will let him grow and he wont. he is learning how to swim though! he is so adorable. he hasn't bit me yet, though he tried. I got to have a good conversation with Casey Dobbins (6th grader) on the way home from the children's museum in columbia ( i got to milk a plastic cow there!). anyway, she was wondering if God can speak through dreams and what her purpose in life was. She said that she liked us missionaries, because she could talk about "God stuff" without feeling wierd. We had a really good conversation, and God just really blessed me in that time. I have a hard time expressing myself in words, so i can't really explain, but God is still working miracles and just blowing me away with His awesomeness. I am so thankful for all you who have supported me through letters and prayers. Many of the kids here (young and old) tell us they pray for us. its just really amazing. they want us so much, and it makes it so much easier to give when the kids are practically begging for you. Have i said how some of the kids will position me how they want me (like, put my arm over their shoulder, sit in my lap and grab my hands so that im hugging them how they want. Its the little things that cut deep. Grace and I are still having identical thoughts and stuff, its really cool. we just had a really good talk about the future and discerning and waiting for God's voice. God really does use us both to speak to the other person, and when we see that happen, we are just in awe. its so cool, i need a better word than cool. ok, man, sorry this was a long one. please pray especially for Julie, Rachelle, Bridget, Tyler, and Linda. Thanks so much and i hope you have an adventureful day. oh, has anyone ever mixed freshbluberries with white cake mix and put them in muffin pans? do they make blueberry muffins? just wondering. love you all,
lauren<><

back here

happy july 5th!
Centrifuge was quite an experience. challenging in many ways, good ways mostly. yes, im still catching up from averaging 5hours a sleep a nite, but wow. we had a group of over 50! it was good to spend so much time with the girls, and many of them opened up and decisions were made. some are still struggling, but they are thinking and asking, which rocks, so please pray for them. two of the cottages left today for the beach. one boy begged the pastor to let me go, but well, obviously im still here. :) it was good to be back at the pool with 3 kids crawling on me at the same time, i missed it. dont know how im gonna function when i leave here. one boy asked me who my foster mom's name was and was speechless when i said i didn't have one. another girl was real upset today when some kids were playing graveyard and acting dead, because her mom is dead, and she said half her family is dead. i just can't imagine. pray for me as i have conversation with those dealing with death in the family, past abortion, bisexuality, hatred, and other things. i just cant explain how it is here. i dont have the words. one thing that is big to me is that they will position me so that my arm is around them, or something, however they want. last nite at the 4th celebration, it was just wow to me seeing all the connie max family together having fun, knowing each kid had their own trunk of junk to carry with them from their homelife. and at centrifuge, some were fightin during the week, but the last nite, we were all together, and the oldest boy shared and i do belive no eye was left dry. one thing he said was how that they were a family, and other kids can go home to share with their parents, but they cant and it sucks, but its the way it is, they have each other and need to get along. sunday he shared verses his dad sent him from prison after accepting Christ. after, we all got in a circle to close in prayer, and just seeing everyone so connected visually like that, man, im not used to things affecting me so much. usually im good at guarding myself from too much emotion stuff, but man, i cant do it anymore. its so real here. so much need. thanks for your prayers. love you all,
lauren<><